thinking about traveling.

check out the world weirdest hotels.

city silliness.

Last weekend Nick and I got travel with some of our good friends to Minneapolis, Minnesota to go to the Finish the Mission Conference hosted by Desiring God (John Piper). It was an amazing time. Here is a little photo recap of our trip...

#1 thank you random photographer for capturing a picture of our group (everyone minus Nick)
#2 photo credit: Amber Smith
#3-5 photo credit: Cassie Koval 
#6 I took this with Cassie's phone at Ike's 

We had an amazing time at the conference learning from men that are anointed by God to teach preach and cast vision! Our team grew closer together as we exploring the city, mastered public transit and spent hours and hours debriefing. We are going to have dinner together tomorrow night and talk more about what we have been reflecting on. Nick and I are really excited about the ways we feel the Lord leading us to approach this new season as a team of senders and mobilizers at Reality.

Desiring God Conference messages

Keep

Kristen has been really enjoying blogging so I thought I would get in on it. 

                                                  

Here goes: 

I was in Luke this morning during my quiet time, and when I read this I decided to do a little word study on keep:

'Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.' (Luke 17:33) 

Keep in the Greek according to Strong's Concordance means variously; I acquire, earn, purchase, make my own, preserve alive, properly or fully acquire, reserve for myself with deep personal interest or caring.

'…the church of God, which he bought or purchased (kept) with his own blood.' (Acts 20:28b)

This verse in Acts contains the same word as the verse in Luke. 

Behind the command of Luke is the deep, comforting reality of Acts: I (and all the church, really) am now kept by the Lord, and so I do not need to keep, preserve, or reserve my own life.

God has answered Cain's question, 'Am I my brother’s keeper?' with his own body, making Himself the keeper of all men.  I have been wholly acquired by Christ, and reserved for himself and his purposes. I am kept with deep, tender care by Christ's own blood and at a great cost to Himself.  Christ came to tie up the strong man and take his possessions, to redeem this man's prisoners for Himself, to purchase men for Himself from every tribe, tongue, and nation, to keep me. (Gen. 4:9, Matt. 10:29, Rev. 5:9)

I have died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:3)

So, when Paul says that in every city, 'the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me.  However I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me,'  he knows that he is kept by the Lord. (Acts 20:23-24)

And, when Hudson Taylor wrote to his children during a hard season of running China Inland Mission 'the dear Lord Jesus who never leaves…says, 'Don’t be afraid; I will keep your heart satisfied'…I wish you, my precious children, knew what it is to give your hearts to Jesus to keep everyday.  I used to try to keep my own heart right, but it would always be going wrong.  So at last I had to give up trying myself, and to accept the Lord’s offer to keep it for me,' he knew he was kept by the Lord.

And, when Jesus, thinking of the cross and his very near passion, said,

'Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say?

‘Father, save me from this hour?’

No it was for this very reason I came to this hour.

Father, glorify your name!' He knew He was kept by the Lord. (John 12:27-28)

Jesus, and Paul, and Hudson knew that we are kept by the all-powerful hand of God. 

And so they willingly laid their lives down, poured them out, and became an offering for the One who had bought them so He could keep them.

'I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies it remains only a single seed.  But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be.' (John 12:24-26)

Jesus’ words refer to Himself, but also now to me.  They call me, challenge me, and convict me.  If I will be His servant I must follow Him. 

Where? 

To the cross where he died.  To death and suffering, because that is where Christ was. 

Behind this hard teaching is the reality that I am kept by God already.  And I am not left as an orphan; I have One who comes from the Father living in me always.

But still, it is hard to know that following my Lord means that I must no longer keep my life for myself, and must walk the narrow path of faithful, obedient, poured out suffering. 

I don't know exactly what this means.  What kind of suffering am I called to?  What will I have to give up?  How much will I lose?  Will it hurt?

I suspect that I am asking all the wrong questions; after all, Jesus says to me, anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matt. 10:39)

But I have not suffered much in my life, and so suffering and loss seems scary.  But Jesus says to me, Do not let your heart be troubled. (John 14:1) 

And so I pray that I will have the courage and strength to trust in God’s keeping of me, and walk faithfully.  I know that this path has been walked by Christ, and Paul, and Hudson, and thousands more as well.  And I know that I am not alone in walking it.

But still.

I only pray that I am soon able to say not, 'Father, save me from this suffering,' but 'Father, glorify your name!'

And I trust that the Lord will keep my heart, and that it is to God's glory that I bear much fruit in faithfulness, and show myself to be His disciple. (John 15:8)

-Nick

Luke 17:33

Acts 20:22-38

Genesis 4:9

Matthew 12:29

 

Revelation 5:9 

Colossians 3:3

Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret

John 12:23-28

 

John 14:14-21

Matthew 10:38-39

John 14:1

John 15:8 

Glory.

Reality SB Launch - Time Lapse from Reality on Vimeo.

memory lane. part 2.

In November 2007 I took a whirlwind trip to visit Nick for Thanksgiving in England.

I wouldn't generally suggest a trip to England for an American holiday like Thanksgiving considering no one celebrates Thanksgiving in England. Trust me, you can't find a pub in the whole city that will serve you a decent turkey meal! Haha, we ordered a "bacon" cheese burger and fries, what they served us was an unseasoned hamburger patty on toast with a piece of deli meat ham on it...

I had less than a week off from teaching for the holiday but didn't mind that it would be a short trip;

I just missed him so much!  

So here are a few of my favorite places and memories from that trip.

I took this picture of Hertford College (Thomas Hobbes and Jonathon Swifts alma mater) from a building across from the Bodleian Library (they, the library police, wouldn't let me in the "Bod" because I wasn't a student at Oxford-pretentious book snobs). Anyway, we didn't let that ruin our afternoon, (ya think I'm still bitter?) Back to the point, I thought the Church was so beautiful that later that night Nicholas took me to evensong at Christ Church which if you can believe it is even more magnificent!

Aren't those flats adorable? I love the yellow one! These are the spires of Oxford... simply gorgeous! (Did you know, Oxford is called the "city of dreaming spires", I didn't, but Nicholas did, he knows everything!)

To make the last night that I was in Oxford really special we went to The Trout which is a swanky pub way outside of the main city area. It was ridiculous trying to get to it--we literally took at least 3 buses and walked a mile through someones pasture (yes there were cows) to get to it--not atypical, I'm learning, for the way we generally find ourselves traveling (more about this later).

The night before I flew home we took a bus to London, so that years later I would have fun touristy picture like this one of us with Big Ben to show all of you!

 

We walked and walk and walked up and down the Thames River ("note to self: if i ever move to England I need to find boots that are cute AND practical for cobblestone roads").

Not only were we both really relieved to see each other that week, 

but while I was there we got a call from Nicholas' parents that his grandfather had passed away, which of course was devastating. 

I think we can only thank our Lord for his timing, 

he knew how difficult receiving that news would be and was so kind to provide a support to Nicholas while he was away from the rest of his family through me. 

When I got home, I started counting down the days until he would be back. My students and co-teachers even made me a paper link chain for each day and we hung it up in the classroom.
I couldn't wait until I would only have a 3 1/2 hour drive to see him as opposed to a 11 hour flight! Its funny how our perspectives change...

DWELL

I pray that out of his glorious riches

he may strengthen you with power

through his Spirit in your inner being,

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts

through faith.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

may have power, together with all

the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and 

long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge

--that you may be filled to the measure

of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19

Dwell- verb

1. to live or stay as a permanent resident; reside.

2. to live or continue in a given condition or state.

3. to linger over

This verse has been hanging on my wall since we got back for Asia. I know I haven't talked a lot about our experience there yet but that's probably a good thing, because I'm still trying to shuffle through what happened... what we saw, who we met, what we learned.

I'm still wrestling through how two people could have the same experience but experience it differently. 

Anyway. I was changed, I am different from before... and a lot of that is because I was stripped.

In my life there have been many, MANY times I have had to walk by faith... you know, "trust". But two months ago, on the other side of the Earth, I found myself in a really dark place,  and I think for the first time since I started following Jesus I realized how little faith I have. I realized how little I understand about this word dwell.

I found myself empty, not full.

I found myself floundering, not rooted.

I found myself unworthy, not understanding love.

I found myself really desperate... realizing that I did not have a functioning understanding of the gospel (true love).

You see, I have a major issue, I try really really hard to be PERFECT... perhaps an even bigger issue i have, is that I'm pretty good at being "good"...

I like how it feels 

+ 

I like how it makes me look 

+

I like being right

= 

I work really hard at it.

I've know I've had an issue with being religious, verging on legalistic ... and that never really (still don't) understood grace.  ("i'm pretty good... grace for what?"... wow right, I know! don't judge)

So I'm going back to the basics... (never should have left) I needed a good swift kick in the rear, I needed to look at my imperfections, to feel a lot of feelings I had been avoiding in an attempt at being "good", and I needed to have some space, remove myself from all my good deeds, I took a break from my checklist of:
prayer nights
bible studies
quiet times
and I just spent so time dwelling. and I'm not going to stop...
I've had much more time to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.

faith.is.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; 

it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

{Hebrews 11:1}

we went in faith...

they welcomed us in faith...

now we pray... by faith... what next?

Faith is risking what is for what is yet to be. 

It is taking small steps knowing they lead to bigger ones. 

Faith is holding on when you want to let go. 

It is letting go when you want to hold on. 

Faith is hearing God’s yes when everything else says no. 

It is believing all things are possible in the midst of impossibilities. 

Faith is looking beyond what is for what is yet to be. 

It is seeing the Light in darkness, the presence of God in all.

{Ellen M. Cuomo}